Sunday, October 10, 2010

two roads diverged in a wood


Just wanted to pop my head in briefly. Sadly I just don't have the time to update right now (not that the world is missing much). It's a pretty big time for me as I'm preparing to jump off the ledge and graduate into the abyss of uncertainty known as "the real world" though I've always questioned the term. The reel world may be more appropriate. Aside from schoolwork I've been editing locally for twelve hours a week which is great practice, yet I'm growing less and less sure of my ability to do... anything. My advanced seminar in film studies makes me increasingly sad that if I continue along this path I may never really be able to do anything with my love of the history and theory of the subject and I feel increasingly naive the more I try to convince myself that it's possible to do both. I hope I'm wrong and refuse to go down without a fight.

10 comments:

  1. I sometimes think that keeping positive and maintaining the energy to keep trying is the best that any of us can do, but it doesn't make it easy. Good luck with everything, love!

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  2. If Martin Scorsese can combine the two, so can you!

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  3. change is always scary - make a friend of it and I am sure things will turn out fine :) it is always hard, but usually it has nothing to do with your actual self worth - good luck!

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  4. casee-thank you dearheart. trying not to be discouraged.

    kendra-heck yeah. hope so. :] it would be superfab if i could be his sidekick fighting lack of film preservation/film history appreciation crime. or something.

    vagabond-what a great sentiment. thank you. <3

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  5. Hello Meredith. As I said in a response to your recent comment to me: Advance Seminars have a way of becoming past seminars and one looks back after a while from a different camera angle. I feel confident. Best. Gerald.

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  6. Thank you Gerald. Always appreciate your perspective. Though I should note that this division wasn't intimated in the seminar itself, just a reminder of how much I love the theoretical and historical aspects (in fact one of the seminars taught next semester is specifically designed to study the lack of division through filmmakers who have also written critically and the relationship between the two, to which I say brava and if I wasn't taking it now would have loved to do so). It's not imposed, rather my own questioning of, much as I want to try to do both, by trying to divide my passion am I making it impossible to truly succeed in either.

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  7. Congrats on your upcoming graduation! I hope during this time your days won't be stressful. :)

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  8. thank you, jen! I appreciate the kind words. :)

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  9. All the best to you: I never really did get the hang of this real life business - except to learn that you really can't plan for it. Just take what comes and remember to leave all doors open. Sometimes surprises really do get in that way, and if you're passionate and committed someone will notice eventually.
    Best,
    Matthew

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  10. Thanks for the encouragement, Matthew. Very good advice.

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