Monday, June 8, 2009

my jesus on a piece of toast moment

Ok, so this isn't as exciting as Mary Magdalene in a bowl of cereal or the Lord and Savior in a piece of dry wall, but this was my bizarre moment of the day.

I'm doing a little summer cleaning to try to keep my room from turning into something out of Grey Gardens minus the 5000 cats. In trying to get rid of some old books to consign/give away, I come across a novel that hasn't been opened in about ten years. As I flip through the pages before tossing it aside, a piece of paper falls out that reads as follows:

Good Morning
I am God. Today I will be handling all your problems.
Please remember that I do not need your help.

If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle,
DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD
(something for Jesus to do) box.
It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT hold on to
it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the
resoution of your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling,
please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is the proper resolution.

Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you
to lose any sleep.
Rest my child. If you need to contact me,
I am only a prayer away.

Way to come at me out of left field, Jesus. I have no recollection of where I might have received this or when, as it's on a completely nondescript piece of paper. I also did not realize that God was passive aggressive. Has anyone seen anything like this before? I'm sure I'm overreacting, but it provided an interesting turn in an uninteresting day.


  1. Pretty freaky! Must be some kind of joke. In any way, it's hilarious.

  2. quite possibly. it definitely gave me a start!